Sometimes it's like pushing multiple wheels of cheese up a big hill

I've been a bit quiet on the old writing front and I'm sure everyone's really been missing it...I've started, deleted it and then re-started this multiple times. I think normally I have a story to tell or something I'm feeling particularly strongly about and this one isn't one of those instances and I think it's a struggle to write because of the not knowing how to resolve it.

The last few weeks I've hit a bit of a wall. I don't know where this metaphorical wall has come from but on reflection, I think it's because a few things have cropped up from previous moments in my life that I wasn't expecting and it's caught me a bit off guard.

There's a film called One Fine Day with George Clooney and Michelle Pfeiffer in it where she talks about juggling balls and how if one ball drops, then all of the other ones do. I don't know where I'm going with this but stick with me. I'm using the simile of pushing multiple wheels of cheese up a big hill. Mainly because I really like cheese but also because this is how life feels at the moment.

When you're younger, you have less wheels of cheese to push and the hills are smaller but the achievement feels huge. Your big achievement as a 10 year old could be getting a record of 430 on a pogo stick and that is you getting to the top of one of your hills and that feels huge and great and sticks with you for a long time and the top of that hill could last for a while before starting to decline (yes this is a true story and I can still pogo stick like a champion).

As I'm getting older the hills seem to be steeper with a fair few obstacles in the way and suddenly I have MULTIPLE wheels of cheese to push at the same time. I no longer feel I have the luxury of just concentrating on one. There's a wheel that is keeping my career going at the same time as having a different wheel that's looking at where I want to go long term and making sure they're vaguely going in the same direction. Then I have multiple wheels of cheeses that are relating to all of the relationships I'm trying to keep going, some of them seem easier to keep rolling than others, some fall a few times but I manage to catch them and drag back up, some I just lose all together which makes me have to stop and gather in all the wheels of cheese and evaluate which of the ones are just too cumbersome to continue pushing. There's a big wheel relating to my family which feels like the easiest, most consistent wheel that actually feels like it's pushing me up the hill sometimes. Then there's the other wheels that relate to just me, skills I want to learn and the kind of person I want to be.

In short, I feel like I'm about 3/4 of the way up a hill and I'm just about holding on to a load of wheels of cheese desperately trying to keep going but it's bloody hard work. However hard I'm finding this particular moment though, I feel like the last quarter is the final push and is the most important bit.

And one more thing, as I've got older I never look to reflect on the hill I've just come up. When you're younger you stop and tell everyone what you've done and how great it was and somewhere along the way we lose that. I'm going to make a conscientious effort that when I get to the top of this metaphorical hill I'm going to do the most ludicrous dance and tell everyone how great it feels to have made it and still have the wheels of cheese that I need with me.

Probably one of the weirdest analogies I think I've ever used but I feel like I'll use it again. In essence, keep going, everyone's climbing a hill while pushing multiple wheels of cheese.

If anyone needs help with any wheels - I'm all for it.

I'm also going to research the annual cheese rolling festival because I feel I now have to go.

#newblog #cheese